Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy 4th of July!

To celebrate America's Independence Day, I figured I'd make an homage to some of my favorite american film makers, producers, and actors.  I hope everyone has a wonderfully fun and safe day celebrating.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Movie Excitation

After my last, saddening, post, I thought I'd talk a bit about what movies I am excited about for the future. At least one of these is going to seem hypocritical after my last rant, but, well, I'm not predictable, okay?

So, here's a list of up and coming movies that have me excited.  I hope to go more in depth about each of them when the time is right, but for now here's a brief overview.

Rob Zombie's 31

Who doesn't like creepy clowns?

31 looks amazing. It's a fan-funded slasher flic in the same vein as Devil's Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses. To give you a little back story, five carnival workers are kidnapped and set loose in a compound called "Murder World" where they are told they will be participating in a game called "31." Their goal? Survive the next 12 hours while being hunted by a gang of murderous clowns.  It isn't exactly mind blowingly original, but since Slashers is one of my favorite b horror movies, this has piqued my interest. You can follow production of the movie here. Unfortunately, as of yet, there isn't a trailer out for it.

Gambit (Directed by Rupert Wyatt. Written by Chris Claremont and Joshua Zetumer)

I'm Gambit, ****es, that's why.

I think it's safe to say that if you were a fan of the original x-men series, then Gambit has always been one of your favorite super heroes. If he isn't, he should be. With his wit, his attitude, and his ability to throw kinetically charged playing cards(well kinetically charged anything, really), Gambit is known for not taking **** from anybody. And while I'm beyond appalled by the choice to cast Channing Tatum as the hero, I'm willing to be proven wrong. Again, no trailer up yet, but it'll be out soon I'm sure. 

Legend (Written and Directed by Brian Helgeland)

Two...two Tom Hardys...ah ah ah.

I need to be up front with you. I have a huge bro crush on Tom Hardy. He's probably my favorite actor of the past 6 years or so. Ever since his amazing improv line in Inception.  So, it's easy to see why I'm stoked for Legend. In this movie Tom Hardy plays a set of twin gangsters from the UK: Reggie and Ronnie Kray. What I find compelling about this movie isn't just that it's Tom Hardy playing both brothers, but how drastically different each character is. Watch the trailer and you'll understand what I mean. 

Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival (Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman. Written by Terrance Zdunich)

Of to Hell we go...

Terrance Zdunich is probably one of the coolest producers out there. Mostly because he's not only a producer. He's also an actor, singer, storyboard writer, comic illustrator, and a snappy dresser.  I fell in love with his first movie Repo! The Genetic Opera, when it came out in 2008. After that he went on to create The Devil's Carnival. Alleluia! is the sequel to his second movie, and picks up where the first one left off; with the denizens of Hell preparing an assault on Heaven. If you've never seen any of Zdunich's work, I would recommend it, highly. It looks like Alleluia! will be released as a special screening across the United States and will include stops into many major theaters. Along with a screening of the movie, there will be Q and A with Zdunich himself and other's from the cast. I plan on seeing it in Detroit on the 13th of October. You can buy tickets for the screening here

There are so many other good movies on their way out soon, but these four are at the top of my list. 

Let me know what you think: 
find me on twitter: @criticcommand
or on tumblr:

You can also e-mail me at

Thanks for reading!

Friday, June 26, 2015

Saddened by this Movie industry

Hey guys(or anyone who might be reading this: pets, inanimate objects,  two-dimensional beings). I'm a little angry right now. Well, not really angry, disappointed *sighs*.  The movie industry could be doing so much better. A quick search of movies that are available in theaters, currently, yields this:

1. Jurassic World
2. Inside Out
3. Spy
4. San Andreas 
5. Dope
6. Insidious: Chapter 3
7. Pitch Perfect 2
8. Mad Max: Fury Road
9. The Avengers: Age of Ult...
10. Tomorrowland

"What's wrong with it?" you might say. "Looks like a decent offering of movies," you might say. And I would be inclined to agree with you on some levels. I'm not saying that none of the movies on this list are good. I personally loved Jurassic World, The Avengers, and Fury Road. And I'm totally psyched to go see Inside Out whenever I get a chance. But let's look at a few interesting facts.  What at least half this list has in common ( I say at least, because Tomorrowland is debatable) is the fact that they are either reboots, or sequels.  In other words Hollywood has gotten lazy. 

In 2014 there were 30 sequels, prequels, or re-boots released: 300, Horrible Bosses, X-Men, Captain America, Cabin fever...just to name a few. (this is nationwide releases only)  How many original movies were there? 

In order to answer that question I have to break down what constitutes original. Is it original if it was based off of a book? How about a T.V. show? Video game?  If you include all those, there were 97 "original" nationwide released movies in 2014.  

Without video games, books, or T.V. shows to base movies off of, though, we are looking at 58 truly original movies, and some of those are documentaries. 

That means that if there were 127 nationwide releases last year, only 58 of them were actually original movies. A staggering 55% of the movies that were released last year, were either prequels, sequels, reboots, or adaptations. 

The things is, those are the movies making money. There were countless other amazing movies that came out last year that were shunted to the side and only given limited releases in favor of movies that were a sure bet to get people to shell out dollars. 

It's all about formulas, and giving the people what they are used to, what they are comfortable with, and what they will pay money to see, but it's the same stuff over and over again. I can't be the only one who's sick of it. In fact, I know I'm not. Mark Harris over at Grantland has an amazing article that talks about a lot of these same issues. 

I want to see ingenuity is cinema again. I want to be wowed again. I want movie creators to have to think, instead of just going, "hey, here's a comic book hero we haven't used yet."

Saturday, June 20, 2015

The Punisher(2004)

sic vis pacem, para bellum

So I decided to start off my endeavor with an homage to one of my favorite superheroes, and superhero movies. The Punisher is a conflicted anti-hero, with a penchant for extreme violence. What's not to love?

Here's just the text, too in case you want it.

"I got your son killed, so you killed mine...
and the rest of my family
But who decides the fairness of violence?
Strong over weak?

I am shriveled by the ghost of my wife
and my son
But in the times I can sleep, hand wrapped around a loaded pistol grip,
she tells me to keep on...
tells me that I know who I am, now

You can’t toss them around anymore
Not with me in this war
And it is. War
You and anyone like you, versus us trodden misfits

The powerless need a voice, too, so...
I’ll make you kill your wife...
I’ll make you kill your best friend...
And finally, I’ll take you
Because in the end
what is vengeance if not...

Tuesday, June 16, 2015


So, I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a way that I can post content on this blog in a timely fashion, and keep my sanity at the same time.  I was toying with a variety of ideas: doing a review on a new movie every week, doing a review on an old movie every week, re-watching old movies I can remember loving as a child and being horrified at how crappy they actually are...etc. In the end, though, as this is supposed to be a space to try and meld my love of cine, with my poetical articulatory modus operandi, I made a decision.  First, though, I'd like to take a moment to ask...

How awesome is Good Will, seriously? I live right down the street from one, now, and I go in there at least twice or three times a week and look for movies to try and round out my collection. In this time I've learned two things. One: I like to collect things. Two: There are a lot of movies I do not own that I wish to own, and Good Will is the perfect facilitator in this endeavor.

That being said. My vision for this blog is to do a series of movie reviews in the form of poems.  I hope this doesn't turn out as boring as it sounds like it might.  I'll be trying to do one or two a stay tuned.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Blog: An Origin Story

The Setup

Life; that swirling time sieve of energy and junk-food is revving up for me. I'm half way through my 25th year on this earth, and at the tail end of my quarter life crisis.  I just published a book (hopefully not my last), and I'll be graduating with an MFA in Creative Writing and Publishing Arts in July.

Now is when it gets scary. I'm leaving academia. Life isn't structured anymore. I'll be forced to self motivate! It's horrifying.

The thing I turn to during these dark, dark times? The place where I can shut my brain off, and forget about the multitudes lack of jobs I can find with my degree? The wonderful warm pit I crawl into to escape the customers screaming for lemon bar frappucinos and cotton candy lattes? (Why yes, I am a walking cliche', thank you so much for asking).

I'll give you a hint. It's not drugs, and it primarily involves popcorn (it's also in the title of this blog, but if you looked you're a cheater, and you should probably just leave now).

Movies? Really? Come on!

Of course! It's that simple. I love movies. I'm a cinephile. A devout worshipper of the gods of film. 
Being immersed in the world of a film allows me to hard reset my brain. It allows me to slow down. It helps me to deal with all the people of the world, most of whom I harbor a deep loathing for. 

At least I learned how to do something with my degree.(I'm referring to the crappy Photoshop job, not my hatred, I was already well learned in that before I started college)

Thus a blog was born!

I'm sure some other random ephemera will leak its way into this blog as well, but it's my hope that I'll be able to use this space to reconcile my literary and cinematic sides,who don't always get along so nicely.